That Damn Dash – Angry Banter from a Psychotic Writer

Orbs

2010-10-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Orbs are small balls of light that sometimes appear in photographs and the like. Personally, I don't believe in them. I think they can be simply debunked as specks of dust, insects or dirty lens. Now for ghosts, I do believe. I've had "experiences" and believe that this time of year, they are more apt to walk the earth.

The following are a series of photos I took the other night. I looked at the lens and it was clean. I'm a person that likes explanations and for these I have none. Just that I've lost a lot of family in the last three years and maybe some came for a visit.

Waiting . . .

2010-02-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

Waiting . . .

For the results from the first pass of the Fresh Blood Contest.

For August 25 . . .

For storm season.

We spend most of our life . . . waiting.

Contest

2010-01-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

http://chizine.com/freshblood/

Week one is over and done. The beauty of it is, I have no idea where I'm at in the contest. I guess the best thing about horror writing is the madness that follows attempting to get published. Thank you to all that have voted. Your words of kindness and backing are priceless. The judges are brutal, but that's how you become a better writer. I also think it's interesting how views change so drastically between people.

The scary thing is at some point, I need to write more. I posted some of my other novel ideas in discussions on the facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hell-to-Pay-William-Brian-Johnson/270223159609?ref=mfI
have a rough draft of one done in need of major revisions. My KU folk might remember it. I know my Wichita friends do.
Thanks, Injun Ninja Joe and Shanghi Bob.

Love,

Hell to Pay: What a great strange trip it's been

2010-01-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

There is a crazy journey writers take, called trying to get published.

I've had some success with anthologies in short stories and poetry, but #3 on the bucket list is getting a novel published.

"Hell to Pay" wasn't a simple project, it started with Bob and I telling bad puns. It took 2 1/2 years to write while learning how to craft a novel, and eight edits. Thank you Gordon and Brainstormers (Gary, Tonya, Julie, Courtney, Michelle, and Denise). Some of the darkest parts in the novel came from Denise telling me I wasn't trying hard enough.

It's tough, I've tried pitching to agents and editors only to get form letter rejections, but a year ago that changed. I started getting written responses. In the authors that I've talked to, that is a big step forward.

On a whim, I found a contest for unpublished novels by Dorchester and Chizine. I tried it out. Now, I'm in the top ten getting ready to start a six month contest that will test the limits of my patience and the ability of my liver.

Voting will start January 16th (around then) and will go for a month on http://www.chizine.com/. People can vote on the best first chapters. I will probably breathe my panic here and on facebook. As mentioned before the novel is number three on the bucket list.

Brian's Bucket List

#1 is have a posse of little people (dwarves, midgets, I'm equal opportunity)

#2 be able to shoot lightning from my fingertips and wear a cloak everywhere while people bow and mutter "Hail to you, Dark Emperor".

#3 Publish a novel

As time goes on and I'm sure no one is reading, I may post more.

2010 may be looking up.

Wow, now that's some writing

2009-06-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

From the New York Post:

A secret sect of kung fu assassins could have silenced actor David Carradine as he delved into their shadowy activities, according to his family's lawyer.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06072009/news/regionalnews/whacky_kung_fu_172948.htm

Go in Peace, little friend

2009-05-18T07:20:00.001-07:00

Speck passed on yesterday after a brief fight with our other dog.

He was a constant companion, friend, and fixture in the Johnson household.

I'll miss the little shit curled up in my lap as I type or clawing at me as I sat at the desk trying to write.

Sometimes life can be cruel and intollerable. Sometimes we need a Speck to brighten the day.

Go in peace little friend.

Sundays and Sam Adams

2009-05-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

Summer Brew came out. Usually I'd cheer it and go get a huge mug from one of the local bars, but I hate to say it, I really miss While Ale. The Spring Brew I think has become my fav, while the slight change to Summer Ales recipe has changed the taste enough, I find myself wondering how much I'll actually get this summer.

I mowed and edged today. The ground soggy in some parts and still waterlogged in others. I thought I'd have a lot more difficulty getting a mulch mower through it, and knew I would if I waited much longer.

When I finished, I went up and noticed everyone watching Elmo. Being completely burned out on the fuzzy red piece of shit, I grabbed a beer and went back downstairs.

I noticed the clouds were running in all different directions. This means the upper level winds were shifting with height, but since their were no storms going, it makes for a real pretty thing to fall into and watch.

Then I noticed the hawk.
We have some of the most well fed hawks in this area.

He was up there riding the thermals and almost levitating against the wind. He'd wheel around and gain a little height, then coast. Looking for food probably. Good thing my Chihuahua was inside.

This picture was zoomed in, then cropped. He was really up there.

It's out!

2009-05-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

http://www.themidnightdiner.com/

For sale at:

http://www.themidnightdiner.com/

Weeeee, I got an ISBN!

Sundays and Sam Adams

2009-03-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, I had Friday off so tomorrow will be Sunday II.

I decided to take Friday off for a sanity break. Things have been about as crazy as they have ever been in my life, and I needed a day off that didn't revolve around someone being in the hospital or mortuary.

We moved my oldest daughter into her first big girl bed, which means it frees up my office to be . . . drum roll . . . my office. Already bought a desk like the cherry desk I had in Pratt. Problem is, it takes about 4-6 hours to assemble. I'm in no hurry.

I feel like singing praises about Sam Adams Spring Seasonal. A white Belgian ale with citrus overtones. Hell, I believe I might have another.

Started storm chasing last weekend. Caught a good wall cloud out near Newton last week. The meteorologists that I have talked to have confirmed what I feared. The wet winter up to the end of 2008 and the dryness since may shift the dryline further this way. I may be chasing close to home.

yup, can't wait for spring

2009-01-24T19:05:00.000-08:00

Although California had a brief tornado today that ripped the roof off a shed.

Other than that, nothing going on.

CNN

2009-01-09T20:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I love CNN.

Gu Gu is not your typical soft and cuddly giant panda.

For the third time, he's tasted the flesh of an unwitting intruder in his pen at the Beijing Zoo.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/01/09/panda.attack/index.html

Something more to waste your time

2008-12-20T19:08:00.000-08:00

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Brian goes to S-Mart

2008-12-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

The forces of Wal-Marx have done it again. I went to the store, not one of my prouder moments anticipating the purchase of a Zune music player. I've been after this device for a few years, now the ducks are in a row, I've been a good boy for Santa, and the stars have aligned.

The Wal-Marx site had the Zune 120GB player $25.00 cheaper than at the store. I've been told by those who are in the Wal-Marx know to bring proof of pricing from the Internet and they will give you the Internet price.

Well, Mr. can't grow a beard but decided to take his lipstud out for work to leave the open gooey hole told me that and I quote (notice the little marks)
"I'm sorry sir, we can not honor the online pricing in our stores."

This brought me to my first "huh?"

"But if you want it shipped here you can buy it for that price and it should be here for Christmas."

"So in other words, I could send it here online, come back, and get the same damn piece of merchandise here for the cheaper price . . . three days later vs. doing this now?"

The next part of the conversation has been tastefully deleted.

Listen folks. This is what cause the mess during Katrina, this is what's going on in the corporate world getting ready to crumble the economy, this is naked politics.
For some reason people have lost the ability to go from Point A to Point B and I'm about ready to start the bloody revolution over on aisle three.

Billy Lip Stud . . . bring a mop, because there will be the need for clean up.

Needless to say, If I wouldn't have stepped in there, walked across a frigid parking lot. etc, I still could have ordered the damn thing online and had it shipped to the house for less than what I still could have bought it there.

Rant over. . . getting too close to X-mas.

Joy to the World

2008-12-17T17:03:00.000-08:00

I told you

2008-12-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

I told you bad things happen when they sale Christmas stuff during Halloween.

Today . . . it's my birthday

2008-12-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

I got up this morning, went outside, and watched the sun rise.

Today is a day of new beginnings that I witness and I let myself know that anything is possible.

I’m happy to know that on that day I lived to be another year older.

Then whenI see my shadow, I go inside and cower because that means it will be another crappy year.

Happy Sasquatch Shadow day

Yup, Nano ruined me.

2008-12-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

12,326.

Ouch. November was not kind. I guess I could make a thousand different reasons for not crossing the 50,000 mark, and I will . . . later . . . because I'm lazy.

What Nano taught me.

I don't have the free time I once did.
My mind is like a rock on an incline, takes a little pressure to get going but then all hell breaks loose.
I should not write my train of thought.
When you talk to people and tell them your a writer searching for ideas, 1 out of every 15, 428 will be an absolute gem. I heard an idea and got shivers. Story that someone heard from someone else. It may be my next book.

Or my lazy butt will set here and continue to shop online to practice Christmas avoidance like I have done the last few years. Yeah, Lowes and Target . . . your on the list . . . Christmas out before Halloween . . . there is a special place in Hell for your promotions management that decided that.

Anyhow, a new little thing that might help me write:
http://lab.drwicked.com/writeordie.html
It's like Annie Wilkes and the hounds from Hell pushing me to write.

You've been warned.

Yeah, I know . . . after Halloween

2008-11-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

After spending all the money on post Halloween stuff, I'm still in the spirit. The skeletons have been taken down and put back into the closet, but I refuse to deal with Christmas at least three days after Thanksgiving. Personally, it sickens me to see that Target and Lowe's already had Christmas music and trees up before October 20th.

So as an ode to Halloween I post this. Long exposure with me in the pic only half the time.

Halloween II:When Linus slew the Great Pumpkin

2008-11-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

Exhibit A : 55 lb. Pumpkin.

For some reason the pics from my video camera came out like we lived on an ultraviolet planet. The pumpkin was not radioactive . . . to my knowledge.

I opened the brain. Notice the 2-3 inch rind.

The stank eye.

Opening the fangs

Almost done . . .

Color returns . . . .

Don't let the eye get you.

Halloween part I

2008-11-02T18:47:00.001-08:00

More to come.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T13:45:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween

Almost Halloween

2008-10-30T21:00:00.000-07:00

I should be sleeping but I'm listening to Dethklok and reading about one of my favorite movies.

http://www.clivebarker.info/nbscene1a.html

Nightbreed was one of those movies that should have been huge and had a thousand sequals. Needless to say Fox Studios did it there way and the movie flopped. I own in on VHS and DVD. Hell, if they ever release it on Blue-ray, I'd take one too.

There was over 25 minutes of lost footage Fox cut. Lost because no one knows where it is. That's the only thing holding back the Director's cut.

Maybe Peter Jackson needs to look at this for his next major epic movie, it was cool.

AMC has something posted about it on thier blog:

http://blogs.amctv.com/horror-hacker/2007/10/does-anyone-rem.php

Anyone want to guess

2008-10-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

Anyone want to guess how many Jack Daniel's and Cokes I've had at this point?

Nuff said.

It's been a bad week

2008-10-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

Fate has kind of slapped me around the last couple of weeks, but I found something that made me exclaim out loud.

That's right, what had been lost has been found.

Leeker's at 61st and Broadway brought back my favorite childhood cereal for Halloween.

Can I get a Hell yes!

Remember, it's the little things in life.

Pumpkin King

2008-09-29T19:29:00.001-07:00

All hail, Pumkin Butt!

Promotion photos

2008-09-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Whether preforming weddings or signing an anthology . . . my mouth is always open.

Craptastic.

News . . . or one hell of a writing prompt

2008-09-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Ship stranded in Gulf by Ike

Coast Guard says freighter must ride out storm

Associated PressOriginally published 09:25 a.m., September 12, 2008Updated 09:25 a.m., September 12, 2008

Pic from: http://itn.co.uk/news/story042ff7adbb6bfe0a2f751a2e29dfa63d.jpg

HOUSTON — Twenty-two people aboard a 584-foot freighter adrift in the Gulf of Mexico must ride out Hurricane Ike because it's too dangerous for a rescue attempt, the U.S. Coast Guard said Friday.
Chief Petty Officer Mike O'Berry, of the Coast Guard's New Orleans Office, said stormy seas will prevent Coast Guard aircraft or ships from reaching the ship about 90 miles southeast of Galveston. Category 2 Ike's 105-mph winds could cause 50-foot waves, the Coast Guard said.
"Based on where the storm is, they're stuck to ride the storm out," O'Berry said. "We don't have any aircraft to send into hurricane-force winds. It's going to be a rocky ride of course, but the fact that there are 22 people on board helps. They'll probably be able to drop anchor in shallow waters."
If the crew were removed, he said, "you basically have a 584-foot unmanned vessel headed toward Galveston."
He said the Coast Guard is in constant communication with the ship.
The Coast Guard got a pre-dawn distress call from the vessel had lost propulsion, he said. No details were immediately available on the name of the ship, which was hauling petroleum coke, or details on where it was headed. It's right in the way of Ike, forecast to strike somewhere near Galveston late Friday.
Ike's eye was forecast to strike somewhere near Galveston late Friday, but the massive system was already buffeting Texas and Louisiana.
The National Weather Service warned residents of smaller structures on Galveston they could "face certain death" if they ignored an order to evacuate; most had complied.

Blogger note: I haven't heard anything this morning. I wonder what the night would have been like???

Sundays and Sam Adams Holiday Edition

2008-09-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

Summer is officially closed.

Damn, and I'm on my last case of Summer Ale. Oh well, that stuff is a great beer fresh, but gets nasty fast.

I put together my daughter's birthday present Sunday. Something called a Roxial Flyer purchased at Wal-Marx and made in the USA. Needless to say, none of the bolts were the right length, I had to take it apart three times to move poles placed in the wrong direction due to no warning in the directions (yes, I read the damn directions), and vetoed putting in the teeter-totter because I had to pour a cement foundation for it (in good time, little one).

I only lost my temper three times and let the flyer live up to it's name.

My daughter was so happy that she ran out and was playing on the chains before we had the swing attached, then found the box and played with it for several hours. Ah, fatherhood.

After the ordeal was done, I grabbed a couple Sam Adams Summer Brews and toasted the waining sunlight as I charred a cow's remains on the BBQ.

Then as the picture suggested, I made my little Stormy do pull-ups until she got sick.

Font Conference

2008-09-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3k5oY9AHHM

Take that Ransom.

The Norse Myths

2008-08-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

I stayed up late playing the new X-box 360 game "Too Human". Although the game has some beautiful effects and decent story telling it made me wonder something.

Norse Myths are becoming chic. With several talks about Thor movies and cartoons in the last couple of years (Fabio, Loki the Rat, and now a mainstream movie in the works) I wonder how they can do it without making it a joke.

You see, I've studied Odinism for several years now and although the majority of mythology fell out before the dark ages and was inked by Christian Scholars afterwards, things like Marvel comics "The Mighty Thor" and games like "Viking" and "Too Human" are moderately popular and bringing new generations into Viking (Northern Mythology). Going back to my point, with this high dollar Thor concept movie coming out, how serious will it be? Will Thor speak in Olde English and piss the audience off with enough thees and thys to be cringe worthy?

I guess my fear is this movie will be the equivalent of an armed kick-ass Jesus or a raging carnivorous Buddha (yeah, I'm working on that last one).

Hopefully the writers are willing to do research on the character and not make him too campy.

My other point: although "Too Human" was a beautiful game, the main character Balder, was a god of light and love. Essentially a Jesus character made by the Northerners to fight off the coming Christian missionaries. I think it's funny with the entire pantheon of Norse heroes and gods they went with the one that was the most into peace . . .and armed him to the teeth.

Needless to say, I've penned my own "Thor Lives" book called "Hell to Pay" and are currently shopping for agents. I have some great ideas for viral videos if this ever takes off that I could tie to my storm chasing.

Thanks for your time, and I would entertain any response.

Dropkick Murphy's

2008-08-16T20:48:00.001-07:00

I started listening to Dropkick Murphy's when I stumbled upon "The Spicy McHaggis Jig".

Think of a great 3 chord punk band mixing it up with old beer drinking songs.

One of my current favorite next to the previous one mentioned is "Kiss me, I'm shitfaced".

Facebook

2008-08-05T20:12:00.001-07:00

I joined facebook.

Right off the bat an old friend said hello from high school . . . less than ten minutes from sign up. Since then I've seen about three old friends I haven't talked to in years.

Ok, I still haven't talked to them, but on the bright side, I know they are still alive.

That damn Zombie

2008-07-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

Try it for yourself.

I got 88%, but I'm not proud for what I've done.

http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb/zombie

Sundays and Sam Adams

2008-07-13T14:28:00.001-07:00

It was a good day.

I worked all morning on the yard enjoying a nice July morn with temps in the 70's.

I got done with everything and went to the store. Brats and Burgers for supper.

This is where paradise ends.

On the way back from the store, I was slowed by two elderly old people. I use the two together not as a weakness of grammar, but to expound on their age. Death, if you're reading this, e-mail me. I have their address and I think they're avoiding you.

Anywho, they were doing 35 in a 55 mph zone. They'd slow down and the old man would point something out. The old woman would nod along like a spastic chimpanzee. The two lane was a little busy or else I would have gone by them in a flash of glory, or at least flashed them the middle finger.

Setting outside letting the sun bake my already sunburnt skull I started thinking about Mad Max. How easy things would be if it were a post-apocalyptical world. I would have just rode up beside them in a calm fashion, and simply taken off the old man's finger with my chainsaw gun. Problem solved, no more pointing.

Although, I would trade in the motorcycle/chainsaw combo for say a big truck with a missile system.

I also don't know about the leather pants. In a typical Kansas summer these could be wicked hot. Maybe trade it in for a pair of chaps and a studded cod-piece. That could chaff.

Chaos, how you can be such a fickle mistress.

Happy 4th

2008-07-03T20:15:00.001-07:00

The kids across the street are blowing stuff up.

It reminds me of the Vietnam vet that lived across the street from a friend of mine. Needless to say, they were both insane. My friend would light off a miniature black powder cannon he made. Fill it back up and wait. . .

because usually a few minutes after it went off, the vet would come outside and scream at him. Then the cannon would fire again.

The vet hit the ground, usually for a couple of minutes.

It makes me wonder with a fresh war out there and a lot of casualties, how many vets are hitting the ground freaking out now with fireworks overhead?

Hell to Pay

2008-06-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

Janet Reid, a prominent agent, told me that Hell to Pay had a weak beginning.

I guess stories that start off in bed, dreaming, or driving tend not to do well. So . . . for your reading enjoyment. A new first chapter for Hell to Pay.

Side note - "Tim's Holy Hamburgers" has been accepted for publication by the Relief Journal. More information as it becomes available.

Side note II - Brainstormers - I will probably send this out late next week for editing.

Chapter 1

That damn storm’s chasin’ me, Mercy Tyler thought.

Mercy turned his Harley to the west onto blacktop. The two other directions yielded no distance between him and the dark clouds that rotated nearby.

He opened up the Harley as dust rose from cut wheat fields. Mercy leaned down and tried to go faster, but pressure from the wind did not allow it. Clouds covered the sun and drops of nickel sized rain pelted him as he drove.

Lightning flashed behind him and drew his attention. A large rain shaft hit the road, but as another bolt smited western Kansas dirt, a figure emerged from the rain.

Mercy slowed down and stared in his mirror.

The lightning illuminated someone on a cycle behind him. Mercy hit the throttle but soon the bike’s vibrations signaled he was full out.

In the rearview mirror a lone rider illuminated with another lightning strike. A large bald man on a matte black bike.

“What the fuck?” Mercy yelled through bug splattered lips. He reached back and got his sawed off double barreled shotgun out of the saddlebag.

Mercy pointed it behind him and waited for the lightning to strike. The next bolt showed the rain and his pursuer less than 100 feet behind him. Mercy fired. The recoil almost took him off the bike. He leaned forward, regained his balance, and rode. The rain came down harder making it difficult to drive.

Rain swirled behind him. No one pursued. A farmhouse or some structure would provide cover until this storm blew over, but on the western plains there was nothing out here but cows and farmland.
The wind stopped.

A large hailstone fell and shattered on the pavement in front of him. For once in his life, Mercy wished he had a helmet. The hail surrounded him. Mercy stopped his bike and looked at the sky, green and black clouds boiled overhead. All around hail pulverized anything it came in contact with, except for him.

He watched the ground turn white except for a small circle that enveloped him and his bike.

Lightning flashed and the thunder sounded like an incoming round. The large bald man stood beside Mercy on his black motorcycle. His red mirrored sunglasses reflected Mercy’s horrified expression, and this giant laughed. A roar that hurt Mercy’s ears and vibrated his bike, the sound reminded him of the tornado’s scream that hit his house years ago.

Mercy drove into the hail. Baseball-sized chunks of hail assaulted him as the wind picked up and pushed him along. A chuck of hail smacked him in the head, he lost balance but instead of falling over, hung in the air, his bike kept up underneath him. The wind around him accelerated, pushing him faster and faster down the road, until it stopped.

As Mercy Tyler fell to earth, he noticed a clear, blue sky overhead. There was no storm, no giant, and soon enough the leader of the Berserker's Biker Gang, would also be no more.

Three weeks later, a large man walked into Grady’s retreat, a shadowy ramshackle bar on the edge of town. He walked up to their new leader and shoved his head through the bar. The large man ripped the Berserker patch from the biker’s jacket, turned and calmly looked at the bikers surrounding him in the bar.

“I am your new leader, and from here on out, there will be change.”

Drive

2008-06-18T18:33:00.002-07:00

A long time ago I used to gas my truck up, roll down the windows, and drive. It was the time I’d do my heavy thinking, work on problems and issues, or just drop out and listen to the universe.

It was also my muse. My mind came alive thinking complicated story lines and complex characters or just a good opening sentence.

It was time I loved, it was time I mourned.

I sold my truck after it cost $55 to fill up. Even though it was something I needed to do, it’s something I still regret. I had that truck for over 13 years, and those years were some of the most important in my life.

The truck only had two bucket seats and now my family had outgrown it. So like a man getting rid of his favorite dog, I interviewed the man who bought it. He lives in College Hill, retired cop, has two sons in the military, and a son that promised to rebuild the engine on the truck. Something I knew needed to be done but I couldn’t justify. He always wanted a truck, and he was excited about it. He even paid the full sale price.

I watched that truck leave and stayed outside until it turned the corner. It reminds me how I watched an old lover that moved away leave me for the last time.

Now, my little car holds my family well.

Driving is now about the destination and not the journey. The chaos of the city around morning rush hour and everyone driving home. Radio screams talk, bad news, or heavy metal.

Tonight, I rolled down the windows, turned off the radio, and drove. Listening to the whisper of bullfrogs and crickets in the early evening air and watching a storm slowly roll in from the west.

And there is a word echoing in the back of my mind . . . Drive.

temporary hold

2008-06-18T18:33:00.001-07:00

It's storm season, so go look at my other blog.

B

Something new

2008-05-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

I've been fighting my muse recently.

I have four projects begging to be novels. One is in rough draft form and I've only skimmed over it. Another is a sequel to my recent novel "Hell to Pay". One is a short story I'd like to make longer (going into the realms of Sci-Fi) , and finally this.

Aristid is the story I came up with one night while playing D & D. It was one of those moments when you make up a character and suddenly EVERYTHING came to me. Out of the stories I'm contemplating, this is the one that might write itself. I created a comic of it years ago and tried to find a home for it with no success. So using issue one as an outline, I'm playing around.

Here is the first page:

Chapter 1

My birth was eventful for my small village. Rumors surfaced of my mother dancing in the forest with devils and strangely shaped animals under the full moon. Her pregnancy, devoid of any local man, was faced with fear and dread.

Ripe with birth, she stumbled through the village. No one helped although they all saw her huddling and huffing with the pain of my delivery. The local church bells rang in warning, a three bell melody where the third bell’s tone off — the tempest warning.

They watched her go to her small straw house on the edge of the woods. They followed her like wolves tracking a screaming injured horse and surrounded the house.

An old woman passed through the crowd, slow of gait, withered with age, and covered in a funeral shrouds. She passed them into the house where my mother lay and midwifed my beginning.

My cries blended to my mother’s final breaths and I came into this world. The old woman’s clawed hands my only salvation. After ritualistically cleansing me, she blessed my mother’s passing. Then walked out and presented the angry townspeople with what they feared most.

They say I looked normal except for the horn buds jutting from my scalp.

The villagers had exchanged their farming implements and labor tools for weapons and torches.
The old woman lifted her milky eyes to the local clergy and shouted a long stream of curses that ended in my name, Aristid. The priest simply pointed and my captors claimed me in my first hour of life as my savior had hers ended. They say any plow shears used that day, reused in the fields, caused the grain to decay and the soil to refuse to grow. The flails, speckled with her blood, caused madness in those who consumed the flour.

How different it would have turned out if I had a normal childhood.

I traveled the backroads wrapped in the chains of swaddling. When I arrived at my destination they left me to the darkness, perched on a stone slab, in hopes that animals or exposure would claim me before the High Father’s decision did.

The High Father stood command over the churches vast power, and if for the sympathy of his young daughter, Elisabeth, I would have been lost.

Yup, rough draft.

The story is about a half demon boy, raised by the church to be a super weapon during their crusades, turning against his training and his upbringing when it turns on him.

Dare I say an Anti-Hero story.

This was the intro for the comic . . .

Honor, Truth, Fidelity.

This day I betrayed it all. All that I was raised to believe, the very aspects that would have destroyed me if I had not struck. Do not sorrow for my tears, they are simply a byproduct of the freedom that I have never felt.

Tell me what you think.

Those that have walked the path before us

2008-05-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a long happy week.

As I set here writing, wondering if certain people (yes, Denise) will be offended at my use of the phrase hand job in the previous work (Gary, stop smiling), and drinking beer (a nice Sam Adams Summer Ale) I think of those beers from long ago that I miss like hell.

RattleSnake Ale was one of my first microbrews I discovered while very young. It looked like a handpainted bottle imported all the way from New Orleans. The taste was bitter like Heinekin, the smell like a southend skunk (people used to look at me and ask what I was drinking after popping a top), but had one of the smoothest finishes of a beer I ever had. I only found this brew at one liquor store in Wichita, they stopped carrying it and said the supplier stopped shipping it in. I thought about ordering a case of it direct a while back. After a very long search on the internet, I found the brewery. Unfortunately, life has a way of throwing a roadblock or two in. Then the hurricane happened. Now, the link on the internet is long gone and the clear glass painted bottles are a distant pleasant memory like the lingering taste of a kiss from a forlorn lover.

Zebra Beer was a nice surprise from BeerFest. Most of their products were made with fruit, but the standard Zebra beer was a rich lager with a great caramel finish. Here's what I found online:
In May 1997, the three owner-executives of Madcap Craftbrew & Bottleworks, Inc., were attempting to define the position of their product, Zebra Beer, in the brewing industry. Zebra Beer was offered in three varieties: Zebra Peach, Zebra Raspberyy, and Zebra Lager. The recipes for the beer had been handed down from the great-great-great-grandmother of the owneres, and establishment of the brewing company had been a family dream for generation. The beers had won a number of prestigious awards for their flavor and quality. Industry conditions, however, made it difficult to be successful as a craft brewery. Distribution was difficult to obtain, both at the distributor and the retail level. Numerous other microbrews and craftbrews were available, and competition was stiff. Industry analysts were forecasting an industry “shake out”. Sales had not lived upto the expectations of the owners, and they were faced with a decision to continue to position their beers as expensive craftbrews that generated little volume, or to re-position them as more mainstream ‘’super premium’‘ beers that generated more volume but required significant investment in promotion at the cost of gross margin.

Without change things become stagnant. There is nothing as awful as a warm stagnant beer.

B

Again damn it

2008-05-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

My favorite park was busted again for acting like a bath house.

Check here for the usual suspects:
http://www.wichita.gov/CityOffices/Police/FieldServices/North/Prostitution+Page.htm

The park is at 3228 N. Oliver

And no, my picture will not (double negative, deal with it) be appearing here.

I guess the guilty are using Craigslist to not only seek garage sales but also for hand jobs.

B

My Inner Geek is laughing

2008-05-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/05/09/physics.nima/index.html

30 year old in top of physics field testing some of Einstein's theories.

Cool.

B

I'm an idiot

2008-05-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah. Started a new book last night. In the dark with a single light, with a big thunderstorm overhead. My jeans fell off the clothes hamper, hit the cover, and catapulted some of my clothes around the room. Weird, yes. Supernatural, eh.

Needless to say, I was reading horror. Normally, I have a extremely strong tolerance to horror, read it continuously in Pratt in my small ex-Methlab house. Last night, lets just say I was a little unnerved.

The book Joe Hill's "Heart-Shaped Box". Winner of the Bram Stoker award last year and the son of Mr. Stephen King. Highly recommended if you like goosebumps that don't go away.

The kid is good.

B

Angry thoughts from an angry man

2008-05-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I’ve got time to think and that makes me dangerous right now.

The ABC nightly news has a piece called record oil prices and they do it every night. Yesterday oil hit $123.53 a barrel with the national average of a gallon of gas increasing to $3.645.

Now I realize there are some that say, we’ve had cheap oil for a long time deal with it. Okay. What I have a problem with is the oil companies making billions and billions of dollars in a quarter, not a year, a quarter. Shell's first-quarter profit has soared to $9.08 billion and their CEO says it’s ridiculous.

I understand that the US is a wasteful country. People love their trucks, SUVs, and large gas guzzling vehicles. Ethanol was looked at to be the saving grace for fuel, but now it seems that everyone is blaming the food shortage on this. People, think of it like this. Corn used for ethanol is below food grade. It’s used for cattle. Now the farmers usually steep and boil the corn anyway. The ethanol companies are doing this and fermenting it also. It converts some of the starch and turns it into simple sugar converting that into ethanol. Now the process also converts a unit of Carbon Dioxide with every unit of ethanol produced. Carbon Dioxide is a greenhouse gas so this process needs to be captured and used in another process (soda pop, oil refraction, etc or scrubbed with algae).

Forgive me I’m going in several directions. Back to where I want to go.

Looking at the other issues: food prices, home foreclosures, unemployment; our basic needs are going through the roof and the middle class is becoming unable to support it. When a society loses its middle class, things get very ugly.

Think Russia before the Marxist revolution, think Germany before Hitler. When an affluent people loose their means, it becomes time for a revolution . . . and our leaders suck.

The Congress, Senate, and our God loving President have the lowest approval ratings in decades. The only thing they seem to be good at is finger pointing and arguing. Even the process of electing a candidate has become ridiculous.

So. Prove you can run a country. Get some ideas and make them work, or it’s the beginning of the end.

When a smug CEO of an oil company sets before congress and says, well we don’t make much money off a gallon of gas, and then changes his tune that we can’t change anything. Do what we do to terrorists. Because right now, the oil men are doing more harm to this country than the terrorists ever did. The next time an oil tycoon shrugs and smiles about the billions made in the LAST THREE MONTHS call in a Marine. On national TV (CSPAN) have the marine raise his gun to the forehead of these self made demigods and ask him once again what can be done to curb the price of gas. If the tycoon smiles and shrugs or even simply says “I don’t know” let the marine do what they do best.

Maybe that will be the start of the revolution. They are never pretty but neither is true change.

Sundays and Samual Adams

2008-05-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. Without getting into the step by step processes of my life and the havoc that surrounds it, let's just say this afternoon I sat outside in perfect weather and sipped on a cold Sam Adams Boston Lager.

I love beer. Not quite the Homer Simpson or Peter Griffith affair (why am I using cartoon characters?) but I love the taste of beer. Domestics usually don't do it for me.

I graduated from BudWeiser U before I turned legal drinking age. I'm a bit of a beer geek. I like different beers, I like the good stuff.

Klaster - Klaster (Monastery) is traditional Czech lager beer brewed since 1570.
The beer’s unique characteristics come from fermenting and aging in caves dug in the rocks 60 feet beneath the brewery. Yum. The Dark beer is my favorite.

Sam Adams Summer Ale - Samuel Adams® Summer Ale is an American wheat ale. This summer seasonal uses malted wheat as well as lemon zest and grains of paradise, a rare pepper from Africa first used as a brewing spice in the 13th Century to create a crisp and spicy flavor and body. The ale fermentation imparts a background tropical fruit note reminiscent of mangos and peaches. All of these come together to create a quenching, clean finishing beer perfect for those warm Summer days.

Pauliner - Paulaner is a German brewery, established in the early 1600s in Munich by the Minim friars of the Neudeck ob der Au cloister. The mendicant order and the brewery are named after Francis of Paola, the founder of the order.Weißbier (literally translated as "White Beer," and so-called because it was at the time of its inception paler in color than Munich brown beer) is a Bavarian specialty brewed in which a significant proportion of malted barley is replaced with malted wheat. By German law, Weissbiers brewed in Germany must be top-fermented, making them ales.[1] Specialized strains of yeast are used which produce overtones of banana and clove as by-products of fermentation.[1]

Bass - Bass (pronounced /ˈbæs/) is the name of a former brewery and the brand name for several English beers originally brewed in Burton upon Trent at Bass Brewery and still brewed in Burton on behalf of InBev by Marstons. Bass is most particularly associated with their pale ale. The distinctive Red Triangle logo for Bass Pale Ale was Britain's first registered trademark.Pale ale is a term used to describe a variety of beers which use ale yeast and predominantly pale malts. It is widely considered to be one of the major beer style groups.

Those are a few of my tastes. There's more. Want to find out, invite me out to an old Chicago and I'll go around the world with you.

I started off telling you it was a wonderful day, then ended up giving a lesson in beer.

B

What the Hell?

2008-04-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.kansas.com/news/local/story/384811.html

I love this park. I used to run trails out there, take my daughter to the nature center, and eat lunch in the parking lot . . . to be close to nature people.

I guess the park has also became the equivalent of a meet up point for homosexual men. Not to go on a rant here, but come on, it's a PUBLIC PARK.

This used to be a problem at Oak Park and several other places around town. PEOPLE it's the age of the Internet. Figure out a private meeting spot and go there. Operative word in that last sentence is PRIVATE. The Wichita police received several tips that many people were meeting up in the park and decided to do a bust. Something of interest, they put their pictures on the John's and Hooker's website: Check it out: http://www.wichita.gov/CityOffices/Police/FieldServices/North/Prostitution+Page.htm

They're the ones arrested at: 3228 N. Oliver.

It's an interesting site because you can see what meth does to people.

Anyway, I've known several gay people in my life. I believe that everyone has the right to follow their own ideals. Fine. What I have a problem with is if I'm walking in a park with my daughter and see this . . . well as Stan Lee said 'Nuff Said.

B

Teaching the young

2008-04-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

I have a group of friends that all had babies at the same time.

There is one named Sophia that is a kindred little spirit to my daughter, Sam.

Uncle Brian is teaching her to be evil.

Flash

2008-04-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

Try to write something other than an e-mail in less than a thousand words.

Sad thing, my first flash fiction is now my novel “Hell to Pay”.

Now I’m looking at another piece called “Musings at the End of the World” and thinking about taking a break from my other projects (like their going furiously now) and undertaking a slackers story about finding out the moon is alive.

I got the idea from Michael Arnzen’s newsletter, the Goreletter. Check out his page of prompts.

http://blogs.setonhill.edu/Arnzenews/cat_instigation.html

I’ve never been a fan of timed writings or journaling (yeah, I’m blogging, what of it), but it does stimulate the cortex and makes me do other things.

Just a thought.

B

Greetings and Salutations

2008-04-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to That Damn Dash. Please watch where you step because it will pile high in here.

Who am I?

Quite simply, I am an adult child still trying to figure what he wants to do when he grows up. I have some fascinating hobbies: I'm a storm chaser, ordained minister, professional writer (I've been paid without anything on the Barnes and Nobles shelf), photographer, and a man with a view on the world that's about three degrees out of norm.

From time to time I like to get annoyed and really let it fly. This will be my sounding board.

I'm looking to discuss almost anything here. Just remember, I'm the one with the delete comment button. So keep an eye on this page. I have a fairly interesting life and we will see where it goes from here.